“I was livid at myself for having allowed myself for that many years to rely on somebody else to make my moral choices”
Well, four episodes in, and things have kind of gone to hell in terms of being informational. This episode is straight Girl Talk. Here are two of my BFF’s, Kelly and Abbie. We started girl talking when we worked together at a pregnancy and early parenting store and resource center, selling nipple creams, nursing bras and booty balms….and we have not stopped since. They are brilliant and funny…I hope you enjoy their company as much as I do.
If you are missing your girlfriends or are looking for a little warm, bubbly company, take a listen. We are not, in fact, drunk, though it sounds like we are. Is there a random topic we don’t cover? Check out this list:
Meet Amy 1:10
How to raise money for schools in non-annoying ways 2:50
The philosophical dilemma of goldfish crackers 5:00
Why don’t we all have hybrid minivans 6:30
How messy cars get with kids 9:35
Middle school hierarchies and misunderstandings 12:30
Amy is a jock brain 15:30
Band geeks are awesome 17:00
Why did girls in our generation feel bad about themselves? 18:00
The female brain and Kris gets distracted by orgasms 21:00
Being simultaneously your most vulnerable and your strongest 23:00
Birth story and letting go of control 24:00
Amy loves Nesalla Kombucha 27:00
When your birth plan changes by necessity in a direction you don’t like 27:00
Amy gets biblical 28:00
Births and miscarriages and life…Do we have control over our fates? 29:45
Is birth and death outside the order of the universe? Does birth give you lessons specific to you? 32:00
Can you turn a breech baby? 35:00
C-section is not a surgery, it’s a birth 37:00
Amy didn’t pump gas while pregnant 40:00
Break: Amy’s info & Postpartum Support International
Why Amy became a lactation consultant 43:00
The necessity having a woman in the room for breastfeeding help 45:00
Support before birth or after….which is more important if you had to choose? 48:00
Kris edits in “overstated” for “understated” because……can’t abide the wrong word 49:20
If your boob is a firehose? 52:45
It’s not a matter of opinion…postpartum facts for the health picture 56:00
Having your shit together is bullshit 1:00
Why are we skeptical of people who have clean houses? 1:02
It’s hard to let your older kids go 1:06
The importance of connections 1:09
Amy’s work 1:11
New meditation class on Wednesdays at 5:15 in DeForest. Join me for a lovely meditation practice! Register through DeForest Recreation.
Here is a snippet of what we’ll be doing each week:
For those of us that are wiggly and fidgety by nature, sitting still to meditate can be pretty challenging. Not wanting to do a walking meditation, but still wanting to let the body lead? Thankfully, there’s a meditation for that.
The focus in this kind of meditation is twofold: first visualizing a thread from the bottom of the tailbone up out the top of your head to the heavens. Next finding the postural sweet spot where you feel centered and light and letting your body follow the sweet spot. That’s it!
This one’s just 7 minutes.
Maybe before you became a mom, you were a fucking lion at work and hammered out 12 hour workdays, ate leftover Indian for dinner and got weekly massages. Maybe you spent most of your monthly budget on lingerie and had Outlander-style fantasy sex with your partner every day.
Then after holding a sweet heavenly baby in your arms for the first time, your world underwent a seismic shift. You stopped caring about the things that were happening at work. Instead you hid behind your desk skyping your baby and knitting booties. You abandoned beautiful lingerie for whatever bra worked best for pumping. You got sad being away from home and couldn’t eat Indian food anymore because it gave you heartburn. And every time you had sex, you peed a little because your pelvic floor was a like a stretched out old rubber band someone left in the sun.
Amidst all this change in your life, it may occur to you that your priorities have changed too. You may be looking around and saying: “Well, who the fuck am I now?”
Goddess, yes, things are changing. Your life is changing. Your body is changing. Your priorities are changing. YOU are changing. It is tempting to hold so tightly to the way you used to be that you cannot see the gift of who you are becoming.
Who you are becoming is someone with different priorities. You have to be. There’s a person now or more than one person who requires you for bonding and play and learning and care and sustenance. We are important.
To move deeper into the majesty of ourselves, we need to let go of who we thought we were just a little bit and little bit more. Because motherhood changes us in every way and it is 100% ok to let motherhood change you. To allow your desires and preferences and needs to slowly or suddenly shape your life into a new thing.
Maybe you taper down to 8 hour days at work or maybe you use your savings to stay home for the first year. Maybe you start cooking casseroles for God’s sake and trade your massages for baby and mom yoga. Maybe you wear organic cotton over-the-head bras with thick nipple pads and spackle your nipples with balm while your lacy bras gather dust in the back of their drawers. Girl, it’s fine.
Accepting the ways your priorities change is so healthy and good and nourishing. Letting the love that bonds you to your child sweep over your life and transform it is a natural and necessary thing. It is not just transformative to your life but to the world. Because the world needs women who let the elemental forces of motherhood sweep through them, sweep through their relationships and priorities.
These elementals forces help shape the future into one where motherhood is important and profound and sacred. Just like that sweet baby is important and profound and sacred and just like you are important and profound and sacred.
You have the right to change your priorities and to trust that whatever you dive into in this precious moment in your life, the essence of you and your goddess beautiful self will remain perfectly, exquisitely you.