Category: GROW podcast

GROW Podcast: Meet Megan and Kristin: Goddess business owners at Haumea in Sun Prairie.

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Kick-ass prenatal yoga, childbirth education, lactation support, vinyasa classes, baby & mama yoga, and a place in the Madison area that offers community, connection, and a heart-centered place to relax and restore. Meet Megan Stansil-Reilly and Kristin Nemecek, the amazing owners of Haumea in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin.

 

 

 

 

GROW Podcast: Interview with Lori: business owner, adoption advocate, Reactive Attachment Disorder specialist, cancer survivor, and more.

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My sister and I both fight the urge to be analytical to the extreme. We are armchair experts at therapy. But this interview is so much more than us analyzing the ins and outs of growing up Midwest “nice” with an emotionally challenged atheist Dad in a home where a lot of feelings got buried. Where does all that unexpressed anger go? How do we know when our feelings aren’t totally irrational?


And other questions like do you trust destiny when your life is on the line? We discuss surviving Stage 3 breast cancer, the violent rage that sometimes comes with Reactive Attachment Disorder and how to protect your other children from it, a miracle pregnancy, anxiety, depression, quantum physics and more. We started off by picking up the thread of a chat we had already been having… How we filter our own emotions…. to see if it’s valid before expressing it and then expressing it in a way that won’t ruffle feathers. WAKING UP is hard sometimes. This conversation details the inner process we all at some times go through to give ourselves permission to feel. Check out Lori’s work at Red Thread Learning.



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Here’s the breakdown:


2:40 Emotions…when are we being unreasonable?


5:00 A brain on a stick..when our minds and bodies aren’t connected


6:45 Letting our emotions past the gate of analysis: is the feeling warranted?


7:25 Which emotions are we repressing? Joy is a big one


9:00 Would you rather have a life filled with big highs and lows or something stable in the middle without any extreme highs?


10:30 Seasonal depression, welcome to thinking about mortality and DEATH


12:00 Having a baby brings thoughts about mortality


14:00 When your parent raises you to live life afraid


14:20 WATCH OUT FOR SHARKS AND RIPTIDES


17:20 My mom could maybe use some safety precautions


19:30 We want to know our feelings and experiences matter


22:00 A submarine of women on their periods is not bound for doom


22:30 Does it matter if a person’s unreasonable since you have to deal with it either way?


24:45 There’s usually a need under the anger


25:30 Fear is the flip side of anger and our survival used to depend on being accepted by the tribe


27:00 When even admitting or expressing that you’re angry is a problem


28:00 Birth Story and the back story starts here


28:30 What happens when you discover stage 3 breast cancer when you have a one year old and have just moved overseas


30:00 Life turns upside down


31:30 Docs say breast milk does not contain cancer from the breast, but chemo passes through breastmilk


32:15 Dad with some supportive words


34:00 Going into surgery thinking you’ll have both breasts coming out, but things don’t always go as planned


34:30 Lori is told that getting pregnant would kill her


35:00 Lori starts thinking of adoption: the oncologist doctor says – you shouldn’t think about the future because you probably won’t be here- thanks Doc


37:30 Two international adoptions and Lori gets those tubes tied


40:00 Miracle pregnancy


43:30:00 We don’t know if it will kill you..it might, we don’t know


45:00 Being pro-choice does not make the decision of abortion easy- even when death is on the line


49:00 Faith v. logic….winner=faith


51:00 Telling Dad about a pregnancy he didn’t approve of…my sister gets hung up on


53:00 My dad couldn’t have been any worse at this and, by the way, NEVER tell a pregnant woman she’s not thinking clearly because she’s pregnant


56:00 Unthinkable to make others angry


58:00 The stress of the possibility of recurrence sticks around


58:30 It’s ok to lose a breast if it means you’re alive


59:30 No pressure, but your babies brains are affected by the state of the mother during pregnancy.


1:1:30 Concern for who’s carrying the baby in adoption and Red Thread


1:3:00 Illusion of control during pregnancy and the process of adoption means letting go of some control


1:5:30 The invisible Red Thread – we are connected to the meaningful people in our lives past and present and future


1:7:00 Sorrow that adopted kids can feel the pain of not being with the birth family even if you feel you were meant to parent them


1:09:00 Lori came to earth with an outline


1.09:30 Parallel universes, free will, and destiny


1:13:00 It’s possible Kris is nuts


1:14:30 Quantum physics and there are multiple realities existing


1:16:30 All things are connected


1:20:30 Anger


1:21:00 Attachment disorder: when your child becomes violent


1:22:30 Sacrificing your emotions to maintain peace and keep everyone safe


1:26:30 If you come close to me (to bite me), I’m going to assume you want a hug


1:27:30 I am pretending to be calm even if the emotional house is burning down


1:29:00 PTSD, stifling anger messes up the stress response


1:30:30 Trauma informed caregiving: getting professional training because of how attachment disorder was disrupting the home


1:35:00 Where do you feel emotions in your bod? Focusing and saying yes.


1:38:00 It’s impossible to be triggerless and yet sometimes we do it


1:39:00 An uncomfortable feeling is just a thought in your head and a sensation in your body


1:40:30 Depression – accepting it when it happens


GROW podcast: Interview with 3 wise women.

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In this episode, you will hear the voices of women who have over 230 years between them walking this planet. My mom and two Aunts join me in a conversation that will inspire and surprise you.

If you don’t have any women in their 70’s and 80’s in your life, give a listen. We talk about everything from growing up in a rigid Catholic household and how it affected sexuality, to why we still want to please our parents even when we have our own kids, to living with an alcoholic who was a hero of the community. Oh, and doctors refusing to prescribe birth control to married women. !! We talk about my aunt’s non-profit (avisionforcleanwater.org)  to get remote villages clean water and a family member who chooses a life as a cloistered nun with little contact with the outside world. Here’s a juicy quote from my mom during this interview regarding the church:

“I was livid at myself for having allowed myself for that many years to rely on somebody else to make my moral choices”

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Enjoy.

2:00 Kris gives some background for why she wanted to podcast and hear women’s stories

5:00 Introductions

7:00 My Aunt MJ: retired at age 78, high trauma emergency/surgery nurse in inner city Detroit

8:30 My Aunt Eileen starts a non-profit: A Vision for Clean Water avisionforcleanwater.org , helping 400,000 people

10:30 How do you take a step toward doing what you really want to do?

12:20 Vision boarding and Master Mind groups

16:30 I get masterminded!

18:30 Where did MJ get her positive thoughts from? What happens when all of a sudden you can’t live your life. Recovery International with Dr. Lowe

19:30 Panic attacks and not functioning

23:30 Do you know the root of mental health issues when they happen?

24:30 When external expectations from parents affect you

26:00 Church every day, rosary every night on your knees,  3 times a day pray out loud to the bells of the church ringing, visitors had a choice of getting on their knees to pray or leaving

28:30 My grandmother was a college graduate in 1931

29:30 What passes through generations?

31:30 Living with an alcoholic parent who was a great man and beloved community member

37:30 Sin. Sexuality. Makeup is called barn paint in a strict household.

41:30 Strict rules vs. Total freedom for your own kids

42:30 Finding your own way in parenting

43:30 You keep the good from your upbringing and drop the rest

45:00 Someone says to my aunt, “You taught me how to love somebody who doesn’t follow my rules”

46:00 Radical compassion may be more important than old models of morality based on rules, religious expectations, etc.

50:30 Common traits of grandchildren

52:30 Virgins getting married, consequences could be eternal fire or getting disowned?

53:30 A snowstorm creates an sexual ethical crisis

55:30 Doctors refuse to prescribe birth control to a woman getting married

59:00 A priest causes an existential sexual crisis

1:00:30 Living in denial: when you let other people make your choices

1:01:00 My dad almost wipes a shoe full of shit on a priest’s desk

1:03:00 In 1968: Vatican 2 includes the idea that personal conscience is a factor in how to make your own choices

1:04:00 If a system doesn’t support your beliefs, you leave the system

1:06:00 Cloistered Nun life: Linna.Sister Maria

1:25:45 The letter about Communion to the mother of the atheist husband to be

1:28:30 Trying not to lie to your mother even as an adult

1:30:00 Why don’t you speak your truth to others

1:31:00 Girls in the 40’s getting their periods

1:38:30 Birthing in the 1960’s and 70’s

1:42 Skin to skin…not a thing in the 70’s,  and, by the way, let’s do that epidural at home

1:43 The trauma of a birth when the birthing woman is not supported and the wishes of the couple not respected

1:46 Kris tries not to get furious

1:49 When you feel excluded from having a say in your birth

1:51 Being mistreated in birth affects your entire life and your ability to trust

1:52 Bonding is something than can happen at any time

1:54 How therapy can help repair any missed bonding opportunities

1:56 Letting go of systems

1:57:10 The power is with the mother birthing: yes, MOM!

1:58:30 The benefits of hospital birth

2:00:00 The benefit of a doula

2:05:00 Sometimes you need intensity of connection in childbirth (This interview has flipped: Kris talks about her birth stories)

2:08:30 This childbirth class is bullshit

2:10:00 Childbirth is big and what about postpartum

2:11:00 Childbirth is spiritual

2:13:00 Postpartum depression when no one is talking about it

2:17:00 My Aunt gives me a dose of reality

2:19:00 Kris forgets to pick up her child from school

 

Breakdown of minutes soon to come.

GROW: Podcast Girl Talk with Kelly and Abbie

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Well, four episodes in, and things have kind of gone to hell in terms of being informational. This episode is straight Girl Talk. Here are two of my BFF’s, Kelly and Abbie. We started girl talking when we worked together at a pregnancy and early parenting store and resource center, selling nipple creams, nursing bras and booty balms….and we have not stopped since. They are brilliant and funny…I hope you enjoy their company as much as I do.

 

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If you are missing your girlfriends or are looking for a little warm, bubbly company, take a listen. We are not, in fact, drunk, though it sounds like we are.  Is there a random topic we don’t cover? Check out this list:

2:00 Kelly and Abbie don’t like long walks on the beach
2:30 We try and introduce ourselves
4:15 Kelly may be trying to eliminate half the human species
5:30 Abbie talks homeschooling
9:30 Library Cake Pans
12:15 Kris has a healthy relationship with her phone
14:00 Cake Day
14:40 Dirty Library Cake Pans and penis cookies
17:00 The saddest place in America
18:30 Rocky Rococo looks like the Weekend at Bernie’s corpse
19:45 We don’t know why Kelly lies about seeing idiotic 80’s movies
20:00 Sorry, John Lithgow
21:15 Is Magnum PI hot?
23:00 Is modern My Little Ponies kink?
25:00 Why are we still talking about John Lithgow?
27:30 Let’s talk about the horrors of putting underwear in the freezer at sleepovers
29:30 When did you get your period?
30:15 It’s hurdles day in gym class, the kotex kit
31:30 Kelly claims she did not invent the word Xennial
32:00 Let’s finish that hurdles day story
34:00 IF FOR ANY REASON, YOU DON’T WANT TO PUT SOMETHING INSIDE YOU, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO
38:00 2 sweet girls interrupt
39:00 Hot mama with food stuck under your boob at Panera
41:30 The UPS guy gets a R rated surprise
43:30 Corduroy: Do we shave our pants?
45:00 Kelly comes out about loving Disneyworld
47:20 Why are we buying Minnie and Mickey ears?
48:00 Why do people love Disneyland?
52:00 Minnie and Mickey ears are not sexy
53:30 There is every sexy costume: bunny, Cookie monster, crayon, zombie…taco sauce?
56:15 What about kink?
57:45 What’s your favorite kind of graph?
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GROW: Podcast Interview with Amy Anderson: Lactation Consultant, Chiropractor, Mom, Awesome Lady.

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This episode covers: The power and powerlessness of birth, middle school social stigmas, C-sections, band geeks, gut biomes, Kombucha…what don’t we talk about?!

Find Amy at Health Journey Chiropractic in Fitchburg or, for home visits: here.

If you want to jump to the birth story, head to 23:00.

 

 

 

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Meet Amy 1:10

How to raise money for schools in non-annoying ways 2:50

The philosophical dilemma of goldfish crackers 5:00

Why don’t we all have hybrid minivans 6:30

How messy cars get with kids 9:35

Middle school hierarchies and misunderstandings 12:30

Amy is a jock brain 15:30

Band geeks are awesome 17:00

Why did girls in our generation feel bad about themselves? 18:00

The female brain and Kris gets distracted by orgasms 21:00

Being simultaneously your most vulnerable and your strongest 23:00

Birth story and letting go of control 24:00

Amy loves Nesalla Kombucha 27:00

When your birth plan changes by necessity in a direction you don’t like 27:00

Amy gets biblical 28:00

Births and miscarriages and life…Do we have control over our fates? 29:45

Is birth and death outside the order of the universe? Does birth give you lessons specific to you? 32:00

Can you turn a breech baby? 35:00

C-section is not a surgery, it’s a birth 37:00

Amy didn’t pump gas while pregnant 40:00

Break: Amy’s info & Postpartum Support International

Why Amy became a lactation consultant 43:00

The necessity having a woman in the room for breastfeeding help 45:00

Support before birth or after….which is more important if you had to choose? 48:00

Kris edits in “overstated” for “understated” because……can’t abide the wrong word 49:20

If your boob is a firehose? 52:45

It’s not a matter of opinion…postpartum facts for the health picture 56:00

Having your shit together is bullshit 1:00

Why are we skeptical of people who have clean houses? 1:02

It’s hard to let your older kids go 1:06

The importance of connections 1:09

Amy’s work 1:11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grow Interview: Birthing in the 70’s, Part 2

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Did your mom or grandma have access to birthing balls and acupressure for labor? Did she have a chance to sit around and chat with mom groups about what life was like after giving birth? Do you think her pediatrician or gynie (as my mom would say) checked in about how nursing was going?  If they were laboring in the U.S., most likely not!

La Leche League started in 1956 and the International Board of Lactation Consultant Examiners was not founded until 1985. Postpartum Support International was founded in 1987.  So how did moms back then get what they needed when there were not a lot of resources available beyond advice from family and friends? What were things like when Western medicine docs hadn’t yet caught up to the importance of women’s mental/emotional/spiritual and physical health care needs before during and after birthing?

Did your mother or grandmother have support? What kind of support did she have?

You will never know unless you ask. Women’s stories need to be shared, so if you haven’t yet heard the story of your birth or your mother’s birth, I highly encourage you to ask.

Talking to my mom about her birthing experience has given me a deep sense of appreciation for what I went through birthing my own kids. The resources, doulas, midwives, books, groups and available support that I had access to: those things did not exist for many women in 1970, including my mom. I learned where I may have gotten my passion for hearing and encouraging stories about major life events (As she shares in this episode, I was listening to stories like that as a baby in a baby carrier!)

In Part 2 of my mom’s interview, we pick up the story with my mom talking about how her life path changed after having babies and experiencing some postpartum depression- namely, entering a doctoral program and studying how new moms feel about being moms.

Isolation and connection, search for community (1:30)
Can a pregnant woman fit into a desk made for them (3:15)
Do mothers of young children value themselves and their work? (3:45)
Always bring coffee and donuts if you want people to show up (4:30)
Women working outside of the home viewed themselves differently than stay-at-home moms (6:00)
Being a mom has a job description and value (6:45)
The importance of new moms connecting with other new moms (8:00)
Modern birth centers vs being knocked out and laying on a gurney (9:00)
Steak and champagne after c-section (11:00)
Rapid fire questions (12:50)

 

 

 

Grow Interview: Birthing in the 70’s, Part 1

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In this audio, I interview my mother! She agreed to be my first guest and to talk about her experience of pregnancy and birthing in the 70’s. I highly, highly recommend talking to your mother or an elder you are close to about their birthing experience. We share so  much and some women have NEVER TOLD THESE STORIES. Give them a chance to. So much is different these days and yet so much is the same. It’s a fascinating look at the common bonds that having babies create across generations.

And Thank God for her and for the women who blazed a trail so we now have things like lactation consultants and pelvic floor PT’s and paternity leave and birthing options.

There’s a 4 minute intro where I am rambling on about my mom and what’s to come. Ramble, ramble, ramble. And to break things down, Part 1 includes these points:

Was family helpful in preparing for birth? (9:25)
Reality of labor pain hits: “I don’t want to do this anymore” (11:00)
My mom says the “f” word and my dad makes an interesting choice (12:10)
Here was my Ok, stop moment. The baby was not in the room when she woke up from her birthing sleep (13:00)
Nursing troubles (14:20)
Dr. Spock recommends (16:50)
Postpartum depression and who’s checking in with mom (18:00)
Mother-in-Law on night duty (21:00)

 

 

Part 2 will be posted soon!