In this episode, you will hear the voices of women who have over 230 years between them walking this planet. My mom and two Aunts join me in a conversation that will inspire and surprise you.
If you don’t have any women in their 70’s and 80’s in your life, give a listen. We talk about everything from growing up in a rigid Catholic household and how it affected sexuality, to why we still want to please our parents even when we have our own kids, to living with an alcoholic who was a hero of the community. Oh, and doctors refusing to prescribe birth control to married women. !! We talk about my aunt’s non-profit (avisionforcleanwater.org) to get remote villages clean water and a family member who chooses a life as a cloistered nun with little contact with the outside world. Here’s a juicy quote from my mom during this interview regarding the church:
“I was livid at myself for having allowed myself for that many years to rely on somebody else to make my moral choices”
2:00 Kris gives some background for why she wanted to podcast and hear women’s stories
7:00 My Aunt MJ: retired at age 78, high trauma emergency/surgery nurse in inner city Detroit
8:30 My Aunt Eileen starts a non-profit: A Vision for Clean Water avisionforcleanwater.org , helping 400,000 people
10:30 How do you take a step toward doing what you really want to do?
12:20 Vision boarding and Master Mind groups
16:30 I get masterminded!
18:30 Where did MJ get her positive thoughts from? What happens when all of a sudden you can’t live your life. Recovery International with Dr. Lowe
19:30 Panic attacks and not functioning
23:30 Do you know the root of mental health issues when they happen?
24:30 When external expectations from parents affect you
26:00 Church every day, rosary every night on your knees, 3 times a day pray out loud to the bells of the church ringing, visitors had a choice of getting on their knees to pray or leaving
28:30 My grandmother was a college graduate in 1931
29:30 What passes through generations?
31:30 Living with an alcoholic parent who was a great man and beloved community member
37:30 Sin. Sexuality. Makeup is called barn paint in a strict household.
41:30 Strict rules vs. Total freedom for your own kids
42:30 Finding your own way in parenting
43:30 You keep the good from your upbringing and drop the rest
45:00 Someone says to my aunt, “You taught me how to love somebody who doesn’t follow my rules”
46:00 Radical compassion may be more important than old models of morality based on rules, religious expectations, etc.
50:30 Common traits of grandchildren
52:30 Virgins getting married, consequences could be eternal fire or getting disowned?
53:30 A snowstorm creates an sexual ethical crisis
55:30 Doctors refuse to prescribe birth control to a woman getting married
59:00 A priest causes an existential sexual crisis
1:00:30 Living in denial: when you let other people make your choices
1:01:00 My dad almost wipes a shoe full of shit on a priest’s desk
1:03:00 In 1968: Vatican 2 includes the idea that personal conscience is a factor in how to make your own choices
1:04:00 If a system doesn’t support your beliefs, you leave the system
1:06:00 Cloistered Nun life: Linna.Sister Maria
1:25:45 The letter about Communion to the mother of the atheist husband to be
1:28:30 Trying not to lie to your mother even as an adult
1:30:00 Why don’t you speak your truth to others
1:31:00 Girls in the 40’s getting their periods
1:38:30 Birthing in the 1960’s and 70’s
1:42 Skin to skin…not a thing in the 70’s, and, by the way, let’s do that epidural at home
1:43 The trauma of a birth when the birthing woman is not supported and the wishes of the couple not respected
1:46 Kris tries not to get furious
1:49 When you feel excluded from having a say in your birth
1:51 Being mistreated in birth affects your entire life and your ability to trust
1:52 Bonding is something than can happen at any time
1:54 How therapy can help repair any missed bonding opportunities
1:56 Letting go of systems
1:57:10 The power is with the mother birthing: yes, MOM!
1:58:30 The benefits of hospital birth
2:00:00 The benefit of a doula
2:05:00 Sometimes you need intensity of connection in childbirth (This interview has flipped: Kris talks about her birth stories)
2:08:30 This childbirth class is bullshit
2:10:00 Childbirth is big and what about postpartum
2:11:00 Childbirth is spiritual
2:13:00 Postpartum depression when no one is talking about it
2:17:00 My Aunt gives me a dose of reality
2:19:00 Kris forgets to pick up her child from school
Breakdown of minutes soon to come.